I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
