worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
