my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I have already put on my inside pants.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
