I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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