I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
