dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
