You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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