he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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