I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
