Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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