Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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