He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
