I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
