Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
