I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
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