..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He better not be in your backpack
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
