i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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