I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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