I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he shaved USA in his pubs
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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