there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
