Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
