My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
