I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize