What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
