That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize