That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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