He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
