Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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