Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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