I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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