They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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