his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
