i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
