Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
