Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
