we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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