I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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