Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
