Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
