girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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