I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My balls are so social today.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize