On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
