"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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