Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
