Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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