I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
