Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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