I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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