you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
