OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
