She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
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