Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize