I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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