Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
