Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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