Cold hands, warm shart.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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