he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize