you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
