So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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