whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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