I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Walk of Shame today included voting.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
