she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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