Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
