I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
