i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize