Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
