oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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