East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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