Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
