It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
