lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
