Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
