How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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