its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
