Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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