my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
