i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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