i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
