forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
MIDGETS
????
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
