Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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