so explain again why im purple
no
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
